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The end of an era

Posted by Uncle Mark | March 11, 2009 | In contributing editors humor

In the last few weeks I, like Hootan, have been poring over the photos and press releases emanating from the latest motor shows dotted around the world and I too am disappointed by many of the things I have seen, but probably for different reasons.

It’s not really a surprise that the mood at the shows has been ‘downbeat’ (at best) when the prospects for the global car market look as high as the likelihood that investment bankers’ salaries and bonuses will not be a major topic of derision for many months to come (i.e. as high as the likelihood that I will miraculously begin liking Fiats). Things became even worse when they cut the number of press preview days, but while I was ogling the new models, I noticed something major was missing from the show and many of the exhibits. Take a look at the photos below and see if you can spot the odd one out and what is missing from the other two:

The Fabulous new Nissan Skyline GTR

The drop dead gorgeous Lamborghini Gallardo LP560-4

My favorite, the Ferrari 430 Scuderia

No, the odd one out is not the Nissan. The two Italian motors may have ridiculously beautiful curves vs. the bulldog-chewing-on-a-wasp-looks-that-only-a-mother-could-love of the Skyline. The GT-R, however, is still a supercar, what with its muscular sills and air intakes, a twin-turbo 3.8-liter V-6 pumping out an astounding 470 bhp (capable of nought to sixty in around four seconds) and all-wheel drive settings that include ‘Normal’, ‘R’ (for high-speed track work) and ‘Snow’ (for a less aggressive shift strategy in the slippery stuff). This is one hell of a hunk of metal. Anyway…..where was I…oh yes, it’s the Ferrari that’s the odd one out because it’s the only one with a gorgeous car babe on the podium!

You see, when I was talking about ogling the latest models, I wasn’t talking about the cars, I was talking about the ladies, and this year’s serious lack of ‘eye candy’ is a result of the big car manufacturers tightening their belts. No more will the big auto shows be a target-rich environment packed wall-to-wall with young, nubile totty dressed in classy evening wear. No more will the latest four-wheeled offerings come resplendent with scantily-clad birds lying on their bonnets. And no more will polished floozies smile alluringly, making it difficult not to dehydrate from the combined car/girl drool loss. Cutting down on the car babes marks the end of an era for motor shows and it makes me sad.

rightpedal readers of the world mourn this sad loss, but let’s spare a thought for these poor, out of work car babes. If any of them need a place to stay or a shoulder to cry on, I’m here for you.

Love,
Uncle Mark

1 Comment(s)

Uncle Mark | posted 1 year, 4 months ago

Why have two of my mates said that this article is "so you" ... am I a living cliche or something ... everything apart from the car babes coming to live with me was a joke ... seriously.