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F1 vs. NASCAR

Posted by Uncle Mark | April 27, 2009 | In contributing editors humor motorsports

On the heels of the Shanghai Formula One grand prix, in what is already shaping up to be one of the most exciting F1 competitions in recent years, I thought I would vent my feelings on the more American version of motor sport, NASCAR.

To be fair, a simple comparison of the innovative technologies either invented or perfected by F1 versus NASCAR is instructional:

Some of the innovations F1 is responsible for:

•    Traction control
•    Active suspension
•    Carbon fiber bodies
•    Carbon-ceramic brakes
•    Active aerodynamics
•    Sequential transmission

Some of the innovations NASCAR is responsible for:

•    Multiple cup holders
•    62oz drinks cups
•    ‘Wifebeater’ white vest and plaid-shirt combos
•    The ‘mullet’ haircut (men and women)
•    Jorts (jean shorts)
•    Adult incontinence pants

And despite the pretty picture of the NASCAR lovelies, the F1 scenery is far more attractive and easier on the eye; just check out the beautiful ladies walking around the starting grid the next Grand Prix Sunday.

So, basically, if you want to know my opinion, I think watching NASCAR’s “turn left 280 times in a race” is such a ridiculous waste of fossil fuels that I am tempted to become a lefty, pinko, tree-hugging, shower-dodging environmentalist. In comparison, F1 is the highest class of auto racing available on the planet and has all the thrills and spills of NASCAR while also maintaining real-world relevance and a prestige that NASCAR only wishes it could have.

And before I get a torrent of emails saying that my pitch on NASCAR is a gross over-simplification and perpetuation of American ‘trailer trash’ stereotypes….actually, go ahead, it won’t change the facts!

Love,
Uncle Mark

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